He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
false alarm, still single
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
