But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
