Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
