They should really pass out barf bags in church
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
