Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
