Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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