Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
