This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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