No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
