That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
