I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
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Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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