he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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