i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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