i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize