i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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