In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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