she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
