i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize