so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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