Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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