Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize