you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize