Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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