Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
