hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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