just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
