We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
