would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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