3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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