I skipped work to stalk him.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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