Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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