It's like God shit irony all over that family
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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