I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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