I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
