she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
