I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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