So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
