it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
