Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
