I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
