sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
