That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
