new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We were destined to go to rehab together
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I supernannyed him into submission
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
