: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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