god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
send nudes
from the living room?
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