My Higher Power is John Stamos
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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