I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Randomize
