Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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