HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
