If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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