ya dads aren't the best wingmen
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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