He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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