my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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