After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
