Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
