You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
