I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
handjob tips. give me some.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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