This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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