found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
