WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
