I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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