my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
