instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
