bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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