I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
