i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
