She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
