Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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