I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
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Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
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Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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