I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
